Black Women Don’t Wear Plaid

Some Possible Theories

Every white — and white-aspiring person — has a plaid shirt. I imagine they talk about it the way some people talk about losing their virginity or getting a driver’s license. “When did you first wear plaid?” “Who gave you your first plaid?” “Wow. I’ve never met one of us who got plaid so late.”

Black women do not wear plaid. Based on an survey of black women who responded to my text, 90% of black women do not own a plaid shirt. (“Lol. No. Who is this?”) The last 10% only bought one because she wanted to blend in with white people. It’s a cultural trend that even Google agrees with:

Of the three black women in that search, one is wearing no plaid (still, werq), a plaid scarf (glamorously so), and a plaid skirt (BRAP BRAP! not a shirt though).

  • It is a lowkey Confederate flag. It’s a wink between white people to say, “that Darius Rucker shouldn’t be singing our music. Now that’s cultural appropriation.”
  • Black women already have their own tribal wear like dashikis, weaves, and flawless lipstick.

When I was 11, I lost a pair of black and white Adidas runners somewhere between Minneapolis and Chicago. My life's goal is to get them back. Those exact ones.

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